So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Randomize
