Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pants are for mortals
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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