Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
