My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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