I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's blow job season.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
