Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
