How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
