I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You are the jesus of drinking
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
