I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
