I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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