You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Your penis caused this!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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