Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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