I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
