tell your sister to shave her snatch
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
