Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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