I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
