Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
