i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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