I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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