Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
