32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
