Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
