Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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