So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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