You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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