Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
