Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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