You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
