Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my poor anus
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
