ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
