just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
