4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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