The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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