just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
