What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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