He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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