its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
do herpes really smell.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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