You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
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so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
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she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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