i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
