she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You brought string cheese to the strip club
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
