I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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