At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
third nipple confirmed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
