I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love having hate sex.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
