I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
smell my finger.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
