what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
