I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
