just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
