Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
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