My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize