So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
