Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
