I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
