Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
