And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
