She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
