In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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