why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
