how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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