I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
