just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
