he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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